Right Wing Conspira-V

In keeping with the geeky trends of recent posts, I've really been enjoying ABC's new show V. It's a remake/ reimagining of the 80s series, which gave me nightmares and yet somehow resides in my mind as a fond memory. In a lot of ways it's a little perfect storm of geekdom--two actors from Joss Whedon's Firelfly/Serenity series, headlined by Juliet from Lost, with aliens, hot girls, and a bit of an 80s retro vibe all thrown in for good measure. The alien tech is all sleek and minimalist--their spaceship could have been designed by Apple--and the show prominently features a Star Wars-friendly motif wherein a small band of mismatched rebels has to unite to fight an insidious threat. In short, if you haven't been watching it, check it out online. I think it's far superior to the other new genre show this season, Flash Forward, and if the public only has appetite for one sci-fi series at a time, I'd rather see V inherit the Lost crown.

That said, the overly-analytical English and film student in me can't help but pick out the possible political allegory hiding beneath the surface like so much lizard skin. While the original miniseries drew clear parallels to the Nazi threat to Europe (check out the flag/symbol of the original V's), this newest iteration would make Glenn Beck proud. Check it out:

• A new force comes to America taking the country by storm. This force is
• Young
• Attractive (and racially mixed)
• Intelligent
• Calm but bold
• This new force promises many key changes, including an ability to
• Fix health care
• Bring peace
• Bolster the economy by emphasizing new technology
• Though promising great things, this force is actually a dangerous threat, as evidenced by
• A loosening in immigration laws allowing free passage into the country for outsiders
• A tightening grip on the media, which kowtows to the new force and refuses to ask tough questions
• Prompting a turn away from old-fashioned values (in this case represented by people turning away from/questioning their faith)
• This force excites and engages the younger generation, despite parental reservations
• This force has infiltrated (we are led to believe) the highest levels of government, including the FBI
• Those willing to stand against this new threat themselves represent Traditional American Values:
• Law enforcement (the FBI agent)
• Religion (the priest)
• The common man (Georgie)
• The covert, or former follower, who has seen the error of his ways (the rebel alien)

If there were some way to blame the bank crisis on the V's, I think it would be a typical evening broadcast on Fox News!

So, anyone else watching this? Are you enjoying the show as much as I am? Is the conservative metaphor there, or have I been reading too many essays on symbolism? And by the way, my point is not to comment on whether such a metaphor is good or bad, fair or unfair. I've already said, I quite like the show, and longtime readers will know that my politics don't skew to the right. But I can't help but see the allegory and find it fascinating. What do you think?

It's All Geek To Me

I heard a radio commercial today advertising a "Geekend in Savannah." The commercial was fine until this segment:

"What's a geek? A geek is someone who spends time doing geeky things. You know, like surfing the Internet, blogs, and twitter."

What? It's 2009, sir. By your definition everyone under the age of 35 and most of the population over 35 would be considered a geek. The only non geeks would be the very elderly and people in vegetative comas.

No, I'll tell you what a geek is. A geek is someone who unabashedly likes this:



One of the greatest movies of my childhood and one of the greatest songs of my teenagehood? Yes! Now that's fine geekery.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Oh, here you are blog, sitting at the back of my closet. Let's get you out, for old time's sake.

Yep. Still fits.

The preceding joke, however, raised a difficult question for me. Is it "for old TIMES' sake" or "for old TIME'S sake"? Grammar mavens, do your thing!

Ah, my neighbors. I could write about them for hours. In fact, it's been so long since I've posted that I'm tempted to do a tv revamp with the blog. You know, bring it back from hiatus with a whole new cast (Saved by the Bell: The New Class) or a last ditch cute kid effort (Family Ties, The Cosby Show, etc.). But I don't think I have quite enough neighbors to fully populate the blog. Most of them are pretty fine folks, even if they are crazy Southerners.

And I certainly don't have neighbors like this guy.

Still, I was walking the dog this afternoon and noticed that one of my neighbors had done his civic duty and decked out the house with Christmas decorations. Candy cane's along the walk way, lights on the rooftop, the whole shtick. From here on out, I think this neighbor will be known as the Christmas Creep.

Don't get me wrong. As Amelia can attest, I'm a huge Christmas fan. It really is my favorite time of year, and by Thanksgiving week I'm ready to start a new mix cd (I believe the kids are calling them "playlists" now) of hipster Christmas jams. But seriously? It's November 3! It's bad enough that Target and Walmart had Christmas displays up before they'd made a dent in their Halloween decor. Now my neighborhood--where it was 80 degrees just last week--has to become a winter wonderland while kids are still chomping on Trick or Treating candy?

I say no, sir!

As a teacher, time is measured by holidays, and I can only look ahead as far as my next day off (Veteran's Day, you may be in the middle of the week, but you look so very fine). This whole Christmas roll-out is throwing off my game.

Oh No!

My facebook page was rudely interrupted today:

Fortunately Beyonce let me read her facebook page later, so it all worked out.

Won't You Be My Neighbor?

So I'm out mowing my lawn yesterday--it has rained for seemingly the last three weeks straight, meaning yesterday was the first chance I really had to mow where I didn't risk putting my mower underwater (though the grass in the drainage ditch did seem to be resting on a cushion of water)--and was just about finished, when I look up to see a neighbor walking toward us.

Now, a thing about my neighbors: We don't know any of them. When we first moved in, Amelia took a plate of cookies to everyone nearby (weren't they supposed to welcome us?), but we were greeted with strange stares. I'm antisocial anyway, and when the houses immediately on our sides switched over to renters, we kind of just shrugged our shoulders, closed the blinds, and hoped they wouldn't trash their houses (they haven't; we still like our neighborhood quite a bit).

Across the street is a family that I can't quite figure out. Lots of teenage visitors, a lady who seems to be late 40s/ early 50s, and like a 6 year old kid, who I'm not sure actually lives there; he may visit with an uncle or something. I don't know, it's odd, for a variety of reasons, but nothing that really bugs me.

Anyway, the mom from this family comes walking across the street, holding a cake in her hands. "How nice!" I think, "Someone's bringing us a cake! It's like a welcome to the neighborhood, just two years later!"

I have my iPod going (Uhh Yeah Dude, of course), so I pull my earbuds out and smile welcomingly.

"Hello!" I say. And then the conversation goes off the rails.

She says, "If I pay you ten dollars, will you mow my lawn too?"

Now, I don't know about you, but I see two problems with this.

1) Ten dollars? Is it 1983? When our lawn mower broke mid-mowing, I had to pay a kid $20 just to do half of the front. I'm pretty sure that's not the going rate any more.

2) Do I look 13 years old? I'm a grown man! Hiring someone to cut the grass means either going for a lawn service or hiring someone on their way home from little league. It DOESN'T mean trying to underpay your 30 year old neighbor.

Needless to say, it got awkward. Especially when she didn't take no for an answer. I tried playing it off with a smile: "Whoo, it's 7:30 on a Friday night! I don't think I can handle any more mowing!" When that didn't work, I tried pawning it off on someone else: "I think there's a guy who lives right around the corner who has a lawn care company. I'm sure they'd do it for you!" When she had a response for that, I went to neighborly but distancing: "Well, if you want to borrow the lawnmower sometime I'm sure that could work."

At that point I think she got the idea that I wasn't interested, but seriously. It's enough to confirm my anti-social tendencies. People don't get it.

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

After multiple requests in a 24 hour period to return to the magical days of yore--the Days of Blogcraft--I decided that it was time to return to the Monkey. Attentive readers will note that my last post was right after the end of the school year. Which, as you might have guessed, means that I'm coming back now at the beginning of a new school year. What have I done in the meantime?

I'm glad you asked!

Late May

Right before school ended I met up with the Boys from college for a madcap adventure in Nashville. Why Nashville, you ask? Because it was there.

From right: Shawn, John, Nate, Dylan, random old dude

We enjoyed wine, women, and song, but minus the wine and women. We did, however, see some moderately talented breakdancers. And by moderately talented I mean "More than me, but less than Lou Diamond Phillips"--it's what I call the Diamond Phillips standard.

Right after this I ran out and collected all the change that fell out of his pockets.

We ate more than any five men should before sharing a hotel room and a compact car.

The sordid remains

Also, this old lady may or may not have been getting fresh with someone.

Look, I'm not saying she's about to grab anything inappropriate. Really.

June

School ended, and with it, my desire to do anything at all. The summer was mostly spent reading, catching up on TV and video games, and being an amazing house husband. What some call "being lazy" I would call "one of the perks of being a teacher."

However, the final week of June Amelia and I packed Finn in the car and headed north to the Blue Ridge Mountains.

We spent just under a week in this little place:

It's even better than it looks.

It was one of the better vacations I've taken. Ever.

We were joined by our friends Dylan and Kristy (and their sons), none of whom I managed to get a picture of, even after nearly drowning their middle child on a canoe trip.

Not pictured: Anybody

That's just how I roll.

July

In July we went to Charleston to celebrate our anniversary.

We went shopping, took a carriage ride, ate at some fun restaurants . . . you know, all the stuff

you do on a vacation.

Sorry, Dylan. Even the horse got a picture. Just not your family.

Oh, also, at some point during the summer I shaved the goatee and grew out a mustache.

The Stache looks so happy

I like it, despite all expectations to the contrary.

There were more trips taken--to see Dylan and Kristy in Atlanta, to Orlando--and more things accomplished, and overall it was just a really nice summer.

August

Now I'm back at work and trying to keep my head above water. I'm sure I have half the students my younger sister does in class, but I've got some new responsibilities at work, and an extra class, so I'm still in the adjusting phase. Still, it's nice to have a reason to get up in the morning again.

At least for a few weeks. Then I'll be ready to become a full time layabout once again.

Guinness Book of Useless Records

So in the last 24 hours, two stories regarding the Guinness Book of World Records have made their way into my rss reader. The first was about the largest smurf gathering on record (2500 people--and by the way, that's not the website I pulled the story from, but take a look at the seventh picture down; I think I found Waldo! ). The second was about the largest air guitar jam session in world record history.

Three important pieces of information stand out to me from these news stories.

1) Both events happened in Great Britain. Um, Brits, are you ok?

2) Amazingly, there were five times as many people willing to paint themselves blue and dress up like smurfs than there were people air shredding together. How is that possible? How has the air guitar jam session not been sponsored by some minor league baseball team convincing everyone in their stands to jam for three minutes during the seventh inning stretch? Marketers, please take this as a call to arms. I think I could top 440 air guitarists just by posting on Craigslist.

3) Guinness Book of World Records, you done fell off. (Old man rant on) In my day, there were respectable records in your hallowed pages. Crazy long fingernails, or dudes that had tattooed every inch of their body, or a guy with a super-long tongue. Now it seems like any fool with a stupid idea and a camera can give himself a so-called world record. Hey, let's get 200 dudes on riding lawn mowers and get a spot in the record books. No? How about 317 guys in Harry Potter glasses, does that do anything for you? 550 people waving remote controls in the air. Is it really just that easy? Of course they're world records--no one else is dumb enough to get that many people together to do something so pointless! (Old man rant off)

I'm disappointed in everybody.

But especially you, Great Britain.